I hope everyone had an amazing Labor Day weekend. It was busy yet fun-filled for us. We gathered at Nanny & Grandpa’s house on
Saturday for the last swimming day for Summer 2012! It was a perfectly hot day & the best of
the 3 days. Sunday I needed to get some
food shopping done seeing that I didn’t have one thing in our house to make for
breakfast. Monday we partied it up with
more family.
I am reflecting back on this weekend for many reasons. While at the beach for our vacation I had a
slight breakdown (ok…maybe more than slight).
I am an internalist and tend to hold things in. I do this for so many different reasons…some
completely unknown to me. While I always
knew that I have never been a vocal person when things are bothering me, I
never knew just how much I bottled up & stored deep down inside of me. Well you know sometimes when there is too
much for us to handle we need to verbalize it.
I had unfortunately been pushed to my limit unknowingly. I was in denial but then it all just came
out. One thing I did not realize is I
had disconnected from everyone even those that mean so much to me. I say that I am reflecting back on this
weekend because there were words that my soul needed to hear. I needed to hear that it’s ok to lose your
shit when you’ve gone through stressful things in your life. I sat with family that fed my heart full of
love & support. It was good to talk
about the devastation & realize that this truly has put me to the ultimate
test. I am strong but even the strongest
break sometimes, but I was mended this weekend and I woke up this morning
realizing that when I was put back together with the love & support I
always knew was there, I was even stronger.
In conversation with one our Aunts I was told that sometimes when
devastating things occur in our life that we feel are a setback is in actual a
way that we allow it to pull out things in us we didn’t know was there. She’s very artistic..I have always admired
her work (SHOUT OUT TO YOU Aunt Katie)!
I am by no means artistic in the sense of being able to draw
freehand. I can paint and redo furniture
but I never realized that I was good at it.
I never realized that it was a piece of me that brought out an inner
peace!
Someone asked me if I ever question why. Why did this happen, why me, why us, just
why? And, just minutes before I had been talking with someone that I said I
just can’t seem to get the “why’s” out of my mind. He said you know Lynn
sometimes we just never know the answer to why & that is ok…if you keep
your mind clogged with the why’s you may never allow it to see the beautiful
outcome that is in front of you. I’ve
always believed in fate, and when one door shuts another bigger & better
one opens for the endless opportunities.
I have chosen to allow myself to grieve now, the anger has flowed on out
& I am opening my eyes to see the bigger & better. I guess I never realized that grieving was necessary
in this situation.
Grief I guess comes in waves. One minute I feel as though I am holding on
for dear life for one small piece. The
next minute I feel as though I am being pounded by hard hitting waves, and the
next I feel as though I am just floating…floating through the day. I know that grief comes in different ways for
different people. The hits from the hard
hitting waves don’t stop coming yet I am learning how maneuver myself to handle
hit with much more ease & grace…knowing that I have my husband & my
girls and our family & friends to help should I get swept by that hard
hitting wave again. We will get through,
we are getting through this!
Saturday Kacey went over to move and cut up the wood from
the trees that had been taken down on Friday.
I stopped by this morning and I was blown away at how open it looked
& just how beautiful the view is going to be. I was a tad reluctant on getting rid of some
trees, but when the tree guy was there a couple of the trees were rotten. They had to go L The guys were there working on the footing
& the building inspector would coming at 10 to do the inspection for that
part. Weather permitting we will be
moving right along. It truly is amazing
at what goes into a home as it is being built.
Katie had her first day of PreK today and Shea moved up to
Toddler 2…mommy was a little sad. Katie
was a little nervous to be with a new teacher, but as soon as we walked in she
saw her friend Avery and she was totally fine.
It was the first morning in over a year that she asked to take one of
her stuffed animals to sleep with during nap.
I am excited to go pick her up so I can tell her that her & Shea are
all signed up for ballet. Her first
class will be on Friday. Shea’s is next Wednesday. I can’t wait!!! Katie has been asking for a very long time to
go to ballet just like her cousin Gabby.
Katie shows me all the time the things that Gabby teaches her. I took
her to the year-end recital that her cousins were in and she didn’t move the
entire time.
It was a much needed weekend of laughter, love, swimming, eating, gathering and just plain fun!
I am off to get some work done around here before my girls
get home. With love, peace & happiness….
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